6 Things Patrick Swayze Said in Movies to Help Us Survive the Pandemic

Because now we’re all Baby and a virus put us in a corner

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Paramount Network

Patrick Swayze put together an impressive list of cult classic films perfect for staying inside and bingeing. If you suddenly find yourself with time on your hands, the oeuvre of Patrick Swayze is rife with healthy tips for maintaining your cool during a quarantine.

You’ve loaded up your two-bedroom apartment with three years worth of beans and six weeks of toilet paper. What now?

The reason aliens visiting our planet always ask us to take them to our leader is for efficiency. A clear hierarchy streamlines decision-making.

“I’m in charge of this band, and I want to keep us all together.” -Cash

Cash, the singing hound dog, dropped some sweet words of wisdom when he described his role in the group.

  1. Take charge and be accountable.
  2. Keep people from losing their shit.
  3. If shit gets lost, find the shit and put it back together.

Cash was king when it came time to step up. Be like Cash and assume the leadership position.

Once your tribe has a pecking order, it’s time for you to prepare yourself mentally. Who the hell knows what’s coming but Swayze knew fear is the mind-killer.

Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.” -Bodhi

Bodhi was a rockstar — a surfing philosopher who skydives and has a side hustle robbing banks. All of this while sporting the best highlights on a man’s head since vintage Bon Jovi.

Bodhi says fear will gum up your brain, forcing you into bad decisions. When you overcome your fear, you free yourself from the cycle of self-sabotage. Maybe if Keanu had listened closer, Neo wouldn’t have been trapped in the Matrix?

Things are going swimmingly for the first few days but being confined indoors will start to grate on the group. People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive 1991 knew that you and your tribe will need room to breathe.

“This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine.” -Johnny Castle

Johnny Castle was the classic bad boy who was sweet on the inside. When you dance with Johnny you gotta hold the frame. When you dance while social distancing, know your boundaries. If we respect each other’s space we’ll be fine. Thanks, Johnny!

The Swayze had a theme running through his movies, like Brad Pitt eating stuff. His characters often meditated, literally or through activities conducive to self-reflection. You can’t be expected to be available 24–7 for the entire quarantine.

“No one say anything frivolous for the next few moments. I am having a significant experience.” -Vida Boheme

Vida had a lot going on around her and she knew she had to separate herself from the noise and delve into her inner-diva to remain fabulously prepared. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of other people. Be like Vida and put a stopper on the frivolous to find clarity in the silence.

People can be jackasses. Patrick was patient but he knew when to get tough. At some point in the next few weeks, you’re going to have to get tough too.

“I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice.” -Dalton

Dalton is one of the most-level headed protagonists in film. Sure, he ripped out a man’s esophagus with his bare hands and watched him die, but only after being nice.

Someone is going to break the rules and make life difficult. Be patient. They may call you a name. Sticks and stones. Maybe they eat all your Oreos in one sitting. Release the fucking hounds! Know when to stop being nice but hold off on the throat-ripping.

Patrick Swayze was steely-eyed but loved to dance. One thing he didn’t do, and neither should you, is shed a tear while the world is burning.

“Don’t cry! Hold it back! Let it turn to something else. Just let it turn — to something else.” -Jed Eckert

At some point, Netflix won’t stop buffering or your boyfriend will get Cheetos dust on your sweater. Jed knew when life is collapsing around you and Commies kill your dad, you have to maintain. The sadness, disappointment, and misery — turn all of that into a nice arts and crafts project or perhaps channel it into a recipe you’ve wanted to try.

You may not be able to do the full Swayze. Who among us can? But if you can take a lesson from just one of his characters and make it your own, you might have a happier pandemic. As Bodhi says, “the human spirit is still alive.”

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writer (hack) entrepreneur (unemployable) expat (immigrant) philosopher (unemployable hack) humorist (who says that?)

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