Dealing with my misophonia, ASMR, and noisy dinner guests.

Photo by Junior REIS on Unsplash

Lunchtime with Loud Mouths


Here is how they changed me

Photo by Shelley Pauls on Unsplash


You can be profane without seeming vulgar

Photo by Samantha Hurley from Burst


How I bungled a meet-cute with a future Hollywood star.

Image by Oberholster Venita from Pixabay


Are you in danger of being ghosted?

Image by Please Don’t sell My Artwork AS IS from Pixabay
  1. His afterlife glow seems a little too glowy lately. Why so luminous, mister?
  2. You notice him liking a lot photos of a mysterious ghoul on Instaghost. Who is this strumpet and does she own a sheet in an adult size?
  3. He suddenly decides to cut back on his nightly glass of spirits because he wants to get in better shape. Wait, there’s more than one?!?
  4. Last night he broke out some new scare tactics in bed, which felt amazing, but where the hell did he learn those moves?
  5. Rumors are circulating he was seen with a skinny banshee at Macabre


First-class will party with free cocktails until we revolt.

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

The Southwest Attack


Romantic comedies can be cruel to secondary love interests.

Image by Jhonatan_Perez from Pixabay and Canva


Unrequited love is hell, even on a free 30-day trial.

Photo by Haithem Ferdi on Unsplash


How I reframed my understanding of self from a distance

Photo by Amos Bar-Zeev on Unsplash


Get your naked faces off my choo choo.

Image by Khusen Rustamov from Pixabay

Brian Abbey

expat, ex-philosopher, ex-entrepreneur writing on society, relationships, & AI singularities. VICE, Salon, & misc humor sites @brianabbey brianabbeywriter.com

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