My dog and my wife take all the covers.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay


Here is how they changed me

Photo by Shelley Pauls on Unsplash


You can be profane without seeming vulgar

Photo by Samantha Hurley from Burst


How I bungled a meet-cute with a future Hollywood star.

Image by Oberholster Venita from Pixabay


Are you in danger of being ghosted?

Image by Please Don’t sell My Artwork AS IS from Pixabay
  1. His afterlife glow seems a little too glowy lately. Why so luminous, mister?
  2. You notice him liking a lot photos of a mysterious ghoul on Instaghost. Who is this strumpet and does she own a sheet in an adult size?
  3. He suddenly decides to cut back on his nightly glass of spirits because he wants to get in better shape. Wait, there’s more than one?!?
  4. Last night he broke out some new scare tactics in bed, which felt amazing, but where the hell did he learn those moves?
  5. Rumors are circulating he was seen with a skinny banshee at Macabre


He might not have been a good man, but he’s a great story.

Image by tiffsproperties from Pixabay


Especially when I saw them stuff contempt into their carry-on.

Image by Danilo Bueno from Pixabay
  • How do we prepare to be jettisoned through the air while crammed into a metal tube?
  • What possessions do we deem important enough to carry with us?
  • Can we love someone at take-off and hate them by the time we land?


You can debate nature vs nurture but I blame the Smurfs.

Image by priscilabraido from Pixabay


We’re like Montagues and Capulets, if one of them was anti-vax.

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay


Sexbombing the legendary singer in a London pub.

Photo by Raph_PH on Wikimedia Commons

Brian Abbey

expat, ex-philosopher, ex-entrepreneur writing on society, relationships, & AI singularities. VICE, Salon, & misc humor sites @brianabbey brianabbeywriter.com

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