Hi Kamala, Joe, Barack, and Mayor Pete! Thank you all for emailing me back this week!

Man, you folks are excited about voting!

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Image by Nika Suchá from Pixabay

Hello everybody!

I received all your emails this week and so I copied everyone on this reply! Did you guys get together and plan this? It was a fantastic surprise, even if you all seem a little voting crazy.

I’ve included the email(s) I previously sent to you below to refresh your memories about our conversations. Please get back to me as soon as you can.

05/17/2020

Dear Former President Barack Obama,

I hope you’re enjoying life post-White House. Do you sometimes write down your old address by accident? I did that for a year after moving. My wife was all ‘Honey, we don’t live there anymore.’ I’m sure Michelle can relate.

I saw in a recent interview you picked some books for summer reading. However, I didn’t catch the titles. Would you please write back and let me what you’re reading?

Thank you very much.

Regards,

Bradley Clemmons

08/02/2020

Dear former Mayor Pete Buttigieg,

My wife recently pointed out you and I have similar facial structures. We also have the same color of hair. I’ve attached a photo so you can see me.

I need a haircut before we go on vacation. Do you get yours cut at a chain like Supercuts? It would be great if it were Supercuts because there’s one near me that cuts hair outside and I can get appointment for tomorrow.

Let me know!

Regards,

Bradley Clemmons

08/04/2020

Dear Former President Obama,

I’ve yet to hear back from you regarding your summer reading list. Are any of them spy thrillers? My wife and I are leaving Friday and I want to make sure I have time to buy the books. Are Kindle versions available?

Best,

Brad Clemmons

08/18/2020

Dear former VP Joe Biden,

My wife and I attended one of your rallies in Cleveland and purchased Biden / Harris 2020 masks! You probably couldn’t see us because it was crowded.

We’re headed to Delaware in October for my mom’s birthday. That’s not the purpose of my email though. After the small party, Leslie and I thought we’d visit NYC. We’re considering taking the train.

I think the train from Delaware to NYC is two hours? Are the bathrooms clean? Two hours on a train probably means I will need the bathroom and I can’t use it if it’s filthy.

Regards,

Bradley Clemmons

09/13/2020

Dear Barack,

Well, summer has come and gone! As you probably guessed, we had a nice vacation.

I never received your email about the books, but don’t sweat it. I ended up reading the first two books in the Game of Thrones series. They’re not like the tv show — close but not exact. Have you read them?

Since the book recs didn’t pan out, maybe you can give me some ideas on Christmas gifts for my wife Leslie? What are you getting Michelle?

Sincerely,

Brad

09/19/2020

Dear Senator Kamala Harris,

My wife and I watched you give a speech in Pennsylvania the other day. You’re incredible!

I’m writing because I cannot figure out what to buy my wife Leslie for Christmas. I’ve written President Obama about what he’s buying Michelle, but he hasn’t replied yet. Leslie loved the jacket you wore in Pennsylvania. It was grayish with boxes. I googled it and think it’s called a glen check pattern?

Do you remember where you bought it?

Regards,

Bradley Clemmons

10/05/2020

Dear Senator Harris,

Still waiting to hear back from you on the jacket, but I found this pair of shoes I think would go with it. I’ve attached a photo of the shoes. What do you think?

Did you buy the jacket at Macy’s??

Best,

Brad Clemmons

10/21/2020

Dear Kamala,

Update!! Bought the jacket at Macy’s! I decided against the shoes though. Now thinking a handbag.

I never see you with a handbag. Maybe your husband holds it for you? I do that a lot. Are handbags are still a thing?

Sincerely,

-Brad

10/23/2020

Dear Pete,

Did you see my last email about the haircut? My hair was fine for the lake but I have to go back to the office next week. Supercuts?!?

Also, I know you have a husband, but if you had a wife — what would you buy her for Christmas? I’m at a loss. I was thinking a handbag. Is that weird?

Are you friends with Kamala Harris? Do you have a good email to reach her?

Thanks!

Brad

10/26/2020

Paging President Joe Biden,

I bet that got your attention! Since I have you, I’ll keep it brief:

  • Train from Delaware to NYC, good idea?
  • Books Barack enjoys reading?
  • Does Jill like handbags?

Thanks!

Brad

That’s it everyone. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the handbag, photo attached. And Pete — haircut?

Also, do any of you know Howard Dean? He keeps emailing me. If you know him, will you please ask him to stop?

Thank you!

Bradley Clemmons

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writer (hack) entrepreneur (unemployable) expat (immigrant) philosopher (unemployable hack) humorist (who says that?)

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