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The Food Network’s Guy Fieri or Lord of the Watery Abyss Cthulu?
Chef with bleached tips or The Great Old One with an octopus head?
2 min readJul 25, 2020
- Renowned for his striking appearance that can overwhelm a person’s reason.
- Generated a cult following of rabid acolytes.
- Speaks a strange language incomprehensible to most humans.
- Says your nacho lasagna is bombtastic and wants you to put it on a flip flop, amigo.
- Began his life’s mission in a bizarre city in the middle of nowhere.
- His offspring are following in his footsteps.
- He is fond of sleeping.
- Possesses a constitution capable of withstanding damage that would destroy most people.
- Thinks those jalapeno waffle tostadas are bananas.
- Many people report seeing him in their dreams.
- He’s known for taking long, epic road trips.
- Most humans cannot begin to comprehend him.
- He claims these cheesy pork fat pancakes are a hot frisbee of fun coming straight for your dome, muchacho.
- People often mispronounce his name.
- He demonstrated career ambitions at an early age.
