The Food Network’s Guy Fieri or Lord of the Watery Abyss Cthulu?
Chef with bleached tips or The Great Old One with an octopus head?
- Renowned for his striking appearance that can overwhelm a person’s reason.
- Generated a cult following of rabid acolytes.
- Speaks a strange language incomprehensible to most humans.
- Says your nacho lasagna is bombtastic and wants you to put it on a flip flop, amigo.
- Began his life’s mission in a bizarre city in the middle of nowhere.
- His offspring are following in his footsteps.
- He is fond of sleeping.
- Possesses a constitution capable of withstanding damage that would destroy most people.
- Thinks those jalapeno waffle tostadas are bananas.
- Many people report seeing him in their dreams.
- He’s known for taking long, epic road trips.
- Most humans cannot begin to comprehend him.
- He claims these cheesy pork fat pancakes are a hot frisbee of fun coming straight for your dome, muchacho.
- People often mispronounce his name.
- He demonstrated career ambitions at an early age.
- Is the supreme ruler of a mythical place.
- Thinks this industrial-sized vat of lobster tater-tot bisque is lookin’ like a Hot tub in Flavortown.
- Appears in several New York Times bestsellers.
- Reportedly doesn’t eat eggs.
- Has a name used only by those in his inner-circle.
- His devotees believe him capable of changing the constructs of our reality.
- Will take you on a road rockin’ trip down to Flavortown, where the gravitational force of bacon warps the laws of space and time.
- Some people who gaze on his form are driven to insanity.
- One time he spawned with his half-sister, releasing the Xothians into the universe, who then joined him in his war against the Elder Things.
- Likes islands.
Guy: 1–23, 25
Cthulu: 1–3, 5–8, 10–12, 14–16, 18–21, 23–25
Originally published in Robot Butt